ஞாயிறு, 10 அக்டோபர், 2021

Who is she for me really???

It was a disturbing night and was 3 in the morning, when I felt not to drift in the bed anymore. 
As an involuntary reflex, just rolled over and picked the mobile. 
As usual, an instant refreshing smile flourished in my face on seeing the DP of the person who comes to my mind instantly every morning. 
It was so early to disturb a person with a good morning text but does she really an outsider to be so formal? 
Chewing the memories all through the morning rituals, strangely I felt happy and sad the same time. Happy for her that she is in the verge of starting her much delayed family life sooner and sad for me that I’m going to miss her as she leaves Covai for that. Who is she really for me and why should she occupy my mind the moment I wake up every day as the rays of light the moment you switch on the light and engulf my entire mind and thought?

It all started on a blessed morning when angels were showering golden flowers on me when my wife insisted me to pick up a girl who waits in the bus stop. 
Didn’t know that moment it was the little girl I lost two decades back 
and 
who could define the moment when the bud started to bloom. 
Either it is with me or be faraway, the fragrance will engulf me the remaining of my life sparing not a single moment. 
Gradually, I started falling for her and God whispered in my ears every second I blessed to spend with her that she is the blessing I was denied this far.
This and this is the only soul I wanted badly to hold in my palms twenty years back which eluded to stay with us – may be we were not that lucky and good enough to handle the budding stages of a goddess. 
There is not a one word answer for the big question that what made me to find out that she is the one I was waiting for all through – 
it may be her manner in with she move with people, maturity of handling things or,
her innocence and especially the unconditional love she spreads with a smile with no artificial tint. 
She could be what she is wherever she goes, whatever she does. 
She ornate with no added makeup but stays her natural. 
That is the striking difference between the other girls and my sweetest angel. 
Almighty kept me in waiting till I become mature enough to handle a divine soul and finally blessed with a garden of roses when I long for a single flower. 
She adds meaning and purpose for my life.

Last evening when I saw off her for she starts her journey carrying all the colors of my life with her, 
it was hell to resist my desire to hold her lotus chin and cheeks in my hands and kiss her forehead with all my love whispering “I love you my darlingest daughter, I will be missing you every moment of my day and night and my soul will be with you forever leaving alone the skeleton here”.
Pray almighty to give me the rights to do so in the thousands of births I will have hereafter. 
Let me work hard to make my living worth enough to have her since the birth with me at least from the next incarnation. 
OK, finally for the million dollar question 
– Who is she for me? 
Is she my daughter? NO 
Is she my mother? NO 
Is she my friend? NO 
Is she my angel? NO 
Is she my goddess? NO 
Is she my blessing? NO 
Is she the light of my path? NO 
Is she my breath? NO 
 Is she my guiding soul? NO 
Is she the gift of my life? NO 
NO 
NO!
Then who is she? 
She is just my EVERYTHING and will remain so forever till my last breath 

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